1/5

There’s one week every semester that we all dread: the exam week from hell. You spend the majority of your study time wondering how it’s already the middle of the semester and the other half wondering what’s going to help carry you through an all-nighter. My solution is Chinese takeout.

But after three years of loyalty to Number 1 Kitchen, I started to wonder how other restaurants’ General Tso’s Chicken would hold up against my midterms week. After endless Fortune Hawaii menus being shoved in every crevice of my front porch and a weekend shut-in to study, I decided I’d give the place a try.

Why I ever questioned my unwavering devotion to Number 1 Kitchen is unclear, but my one-night stand with Fortune Hawaii has sent me running back.

The only redeeming factor of this delivery experience was the General Tso’s Chicken, my go-to dish. The chicken was tender and had a thin coat of breading that absorbed the sweet, honey glaze. But I couldn’t help but think that the lack of any spice or heat and chili peppers made it incomplete. The pork-fried rice that came with this combination platter ($9.25) was no help. It tasted like it was made the day before with stale rice, chewy pork and shriveled peas.

I was also incredibly disappointed by the sides that came with it or, rather, did not. The wonton soup that came with my combo plate did not make it to my door. I was pissed, because a bowl of warm wonton soup is like a big comforting hug amid a night spent glaring at a textbook. No hug for me.

But when I tried the egg roll, I wished Fortune Hawaii had forgotten to bring that too. It’s been a while since I’ve spit something out, but the soggy, chewy shell of the roll only served to cover up the sour, basically rotten veggies inside that had a gummy texture to them, which I’m positive is not normal.

The worst part was all the hoops I had to jump through just to get my mediocre meal. I placed my order over the phone with a man whose impatient and irritated tone made it seem like I called to apologize to him for something, and he wasn’t having it. Apparently, he just wasn’t having my order either. An hour later I called to see where my food was and I was barked at to reorder online because my order didn’t go through. Why GrubHub is able to receive orders and the person I talked to at the physical location of the restaurant is not still confuses me.

The last straw was when I realized that I had accidently ordered the Thai Basil Chicken ($10.25) instead of the Basil Noodle with Chicken ($9.15) and called Fortune Hawaii shortly after I ordered to correct the mistake. I got a shout of “OK, OK, we’ll fix it,” a slam of the receiver and, an hour later, a container filled with Thai Basil Chicken. I was so fed up I didn’t even try to correct the order. Any extra interaction with the abrasive staff was unfathomable. This screw-up completely overshadowed my initial excitement that Fortune Hawaii’s menu had a few appealing Japanese and Thai dishes, like the basil noodles, which I’ve wanted to try for a while. Instead I received a box of mostly unflavored onions and green peppers mixed with diced chicken in a sauce with the consistency of grease that only had the flavor of wilted basil leaves to support it.

Midterms week will soon be over and you can resume eating habits that contain much less MSG. But in the meantime, if you’re looking for a satisfying meal that won’t add to your already-high stress levels, stay far, far away from Fortune Hawaii.

Published on October 17, 2012 at 1:29 am

Contact Danielle: dmodiama@syr.edu | @daniemarieodie